This was March 2007. I was in college at that time and was not earning. I called home one evening. I was a little frustrated with the surrounding circumstances.

Me: Hello, Mumma,

Mom: Hello beta.

Me: How are you?

Mom: We all are good, you tell me beta, how are you?

Me: I'm Ok.

Mom: When will you be coming home next?

Me: Dn't knw, therez some work.

Mom: Come this weekend.

Me: Can't say.

Mom: How much money you have with you.

Me: 50 rupees

Mom: Just 50?

Me: Yes.

Mom: You were given 2000 Rs. last month, where are they.

Me: I had to buy two books and then I gave my Birthday treat worth 600 as well.

Mom: 600??? Treat to whom?

Me: To my friends, who else?

Mom: Why do you spend so much. what was the use of giving a treat.

Me: I have friends I have to treat them, I have never given a birthday treat at college, so what if i gave a treat.

Mom: 2000 Rs. and now you just have 50? Where did the money go.

. . . . .

I don't know why she was so concerned about those 2000 rupees. This was the time when I generally got 200-500 rupees per month to spend. I used to think twice before taking a coffee worth 5 bucks, or having a meal costlier than 30 bucks.
So when 2000 were spent, may be she thought I was cultivating some bad habits, or something. I actually gave a treat and went out to drink twice. The money was spent. It's possible that I was at mistake. But this conversation left me deeply hurt. I felt my happiness is not important to them but 2000 rupees were. I cried that night after a very long time. And those scars are still there, I don't know why.

Sunny Paaji vs Ram Khilawan

Ram khilawan: Sir myself Ram Khilawan sir, rejident aaf Chhapra. Hum aapka bahute bada fan hu Sir. Ek tho autograph dijiye na?

Sunny Deol: Acha pehle koi dialogues toh sunaiye mera.

RK: Suar..bilkul abhi lijiye[Sunny deol style] “Ayeeeee……Yeh aadha kilo ka haath jab padta hai na, toh aadmi uthta nahi hai . . .”

Sunny: [smiles] Nahi nahi aadha nahi, dhaayi…

RK: dhaai ka toh aapka haath hai, hamra haath toh dui char sau gram ka raha, hamhu fir bhi aadha bol diye saram karke.

Sunny: Haath aapka hai, par dialogue toh mera tha na Ram Khilawan ji.

RK: Ohh maaf kijiye, zara hamra memory fail hui gawa, idhar ka udhar ho jata hai.

Sunny: acha acha

RK: Ek aur dialogue raha aapka…kya kehet rahe….[Sunny deol style] “Ayeeeee, ….Balwant rai ke pillon…”

Sunny: [smiles] Pillon nahi kutton…kutton!

RK: Kutton? Haan ohh maaf kijiye, zara hamra memory fail hui gawa, actually hamra bagal me sarma ji rehte hain, balwant sarma, unka yahan kaali kutiya ne char chheh pilla diya raha laasht Saturday, toh uhaan ka memory yahan beech me entry kar gaya.

Sunny: Kaafi mazedaar aadmi maloo padte hain aap. Acha ab mujhe zara chalna hoga, shot ready hai.

RK: Ek min, aapka ek dialogue raha jo hamra best hai ekdum..

Sunny: [getting impaitent] Dekhiye Ram Khilawan ji….

RK: Phive minutes sir, phive minutes aaf yuar time. U raha ke ….[Dharmendra style] “Ayeeeee, basanti, in chuhon ke saamne mat nachna…”

Sunny: [getting angry] Ram khilawan isse pehle mera dhaai kilo ka haath uth jaaye tu yaahn se chale ja…yeh mere daddy ka dialogue hai…aur woh bhi galat bola hai toone..

RK: i am bery sorry sir, u hamre gaon me chuha bahut hua raha..u karke...

Sunny: kuttttteeeeeeeeeeeeee...

[the sound of ambulance...]

The Rational 'should'


JOURNALIST: Ok sir my next question, what does this phrase mean? "That's cruel."

RATIONALIST: It is a subset of 'That's irrational.'

JOURNALIST: Means cruel is irrational rather than being wrong.

RATIONALIST: In first place, perceiving somebody as cruel is a prejudice in itself.

JOURNALIST: No, no sir, please don't play with words, you cannot prove wrong as right.

RATIONALIST: There is nothing right, nothing wrong. No Devil no God.

JOURNALIST: So you hate prejudices, is that what you want to imply.

RATIONALIST: I don't imply anything, assumptions and implications are the prejudices of first order, both on the part of actor, and the perceiver.

JOURNALIST: Oh…I am getting a little confused now....

RATIONALIST: You will! Just remove all the curtains of old learnings, deep-rooted believes, try to view things rationally and logically, you will feel less confused.

JOURNALIST: Oh, Rationality?

RATIONALIST: Yes.

JOURNALIST: The disease of our time. [smiles]

RATIONALIST: Another prejudice! I think we should wind up.

JOURNALIST: Second -last question! Why do we have to be rational?

RATIONALIST: Well it's rational to be rational.

JOURNALIST: Equation with no solutions.

RATIONALIST: Ok....well rationality is the best and only way of treating a life scenario.

JOURNALIST: Ahan! I'm not gonna buy it.

RATIONALIST: Well.....Personally I feel rationality is the best way to sail the ship called life.

JOURNALIST: Oh so we ‘should’ be rational. Do I need to ask the last question? [smiles]

RATIONALIST:. . . . . I will think about it.

Terminator in Hastinapur

[Thousands years ago in Jungles of Hastinapur, India, a ball of fire originated, and came out a NAKED terminator

He was on lookout for clothes as-usual and black-colored glasses, then he saw maharishi vishwamitra, whose dhoti was fitting his match (on red screen), he spoke...]

Terminator: I want your clothes and sun-glasses.

Vishwamitra: I don't have any sun-glasses.

Terminator: I want your clothes and sun-glasses.

Vishwamitra: Do you even have an idea whom are you talking to?

Terminator: It's all over now.

Vishwamitra: What is over now?

Terminator: I am terminator and you will be terminated.

vishwamitra: Infact the one to be terminated is you.

Terminator: How?

vishwamitra: Do you see this holy water in my kamandal, i may curse u for eternityyyyyyyyy.

[Lots of lightening and thunder in sky]

vishwamitra: You see my power. My voice leads to thunder-storms in sky.

Terminator: Negative, weather department predicted rain and thunder-showers this evening.

vishwamitra: Theek hai, ja main tujhe shrap deta hu....

Terminator: De do.

vishwamitra: Arre, Hum toh sabhi bhashao ke gyata hain, par tumhe bhi hindi bolni aati hai?

Terminator: Mere mastishk ka sanganak, aas paas ke vatavaran se seekhta rehta hai, aur is karan atyant hi shaktishaali vyavasthao ke pradurbhav ke karanvash....

vishwamitra: Aree bas kar, itni mushkil hindi, ab toh mujhe bhi samajh me aana band ho gaya hai.

Terminator: You are forgetting something. You were going to curse me.

vishwamitra: Hmm, i have concluded that you are a nadaan balak, so i am in a mood to forgive you.

Terminator: I need your clothes.

vishwamitra: I have a spare dhoti fitting my size, you may borrow that for a while.

[Vishwamitra and Terminator are now friends, and they are walking down the jungle]

vishwamitra: Tell me why are you here?

Terminator: Classified information, not to be processed.

vishwamitra: Balak tell me, come'on, we are friends now.

Terminator: Negative.

vishwamitra: Okie ill give u some more dhotiz.

Terminator: Negative.

vishwamitra: [about to speak something]....

Terminator: Negative.

vishwamitra: [angry] I'll give you a shraap that your flesh burns in hell for thousand years.

Terminator: I am a cybernetic organism with metallic structure covered with human flesh, even if my flesh burns, i'll survive.

vishwamitra: What do you think, if you wont tell me i wont know. Balak I know everything, i have a divya drishti.

Terminator: Whats that?

vishwamitra: [smiles] I know, Duryodhan has sent you.

Terminator: How do you know?

vishwamitra: He has lost the mahabharata yudhha in future and he has programmed you and sent you here to kill parents of pandvaas, so that he may rule in peace.

Terminator: How do you know that?

[Suddenly Vishwamitra stabs terminator with his kamandal and terminator's body melts and burns due to high electric sparks]

vishwamitra: [speaks like a robot] I am T-1000, advanced prototype, capable of changing shapes, i was here to terminate you, and you are hereby terminated.

Terminator: [dying] Who sent you?

vishwamitra: Prabhu Sri-Krishna.

ANSWER IS THE SLAVE

Characters:
Q1 : a guy about 25 years old
A1 : a guy about 25 years old

[Lights fade in. Q1 is sitting and reading a newspaper, when A1 comes running and stops immediately near Q1, Q1 looks in A1's eyes]

A1: No.

Q1: What?

A1: No, no, no.

Q1: What no? I didn’t ask any question, did I?

A1: Hmm.

Q1: Then why did you answer in “no”?

A1: I thought there can always be an answer without a question, so I answered you without you asking any question.

Q1: That’s just asinine of you; I didn't said anything to which you could have said “no”. Then, why did you say “no”?

A1: Well it’s all your mistake.

Q1: My mistake? Why?

A1: You defined cause as cause and affect as effect.

Q1: What cause…?

A1: You defined question as question and answer as answer......

Q1: I never...?

A1: ....and hence it’s you who defined effect, as effect to a cause, and answer, as answer to a question.

Q1: Isn't it just ridiculous?

A1: You are a robber.

Q1: Robber? Do you know what you just said?

A1: You just robbed the answer of its freedom; you nullified its existence, its existence without a question.

Q1: What the hell are you talking about?

A1: We always create history as we move ahead on road of life, each second gone is written in a book of history, each second we will be living, will soon be a history.

Q1: Aren't you mad?

A1: Society will ask you one day, if you followed the norms or not, you will be shameful then.

[Now A1 will be Q2 and Q1 will be A2]

A2: I would never be shameful.

Q2: Why won't you be shameful, have you followed all the norms?

A2: We all have to follow the norms. Everybody has to live in this society and has to follow what it dictates.

Q2: You mean the word “should” and “must” were invented after word “society” was invented?

A2: Quite possible, but you are trying to change the topic.

Q2: Did I change the topic?

A2: Yes, I think we were talking about questions and answers, and you have dragged societal norms in between.

Q2: Don’t you think we are still talking on the same topic, question-answers?

A2: No.

Q2: What if I prove that we are still on the same topic?

A2: Prove it then.

Q2: Ok, so according to you, a question is a question and answer is an answer, and thereby a question may or may not have a following notion, an answer, but an answer always has a base-notion which is called a question, is it?

A2: Yes offocurse, i mean there are questions which have no answers found yet, but an answer without a question is unheard of.

Q2: Why?

A2: It simply can’t exist.

Q2: Why?

A2: It's just that, it happens.

Q2: Why?

A2: It’s the way they are defined, a question is meant to be asked, and answer is to be given as a reply to a question.

Q2: Is it some kind of established practice?

A2: Yes it’s the norm of world.

Q2: Norm of world? Or Norm of society?

A2: Oh.

Q2: Did you get me now?

A2: Yes I did, we are still on the same topic.

Q2: Don’t you think we have sort of concluded?

[Now Q2 will be again be A1 and A2 will be Q1]

Q1: Concluded?

A1: Yes.

Q1: What’s the conclusion?

A1: Conclusion is a bitter one.

Q1: What is it?

A1: Conclusion is: "Question is the master and answer is the slave."

Q1: But then...what of societal norms?

A1: They are the question and …..

Q1: And?

A1: …and you are the answer.

What's the header buddy?

Two Guys A&B

B: #include<iostream.h>

A: #include<conio.h>

B: #include<stdio.h>

A: ?

B: umm . . . . . .#include<math.h>

A: Ohh come on, gimme a break, get some real, man.

B: hmm . . . #include<cooljob.h>

A: Yeah, thts cool, then #include<100billiondollars.h>

B: #include<peaceofmind.h>

A: #include<girlfriend.h>

B: Now,.. now that was wrong!!!

A: Why?

B: #include<homo.h>

A: #include<ohmyGod.h> ...hmm, ok, u make that a boy.

B: #include<.h>

A: What was that?

B: I m runnin outta ideas..

A: Hmm, then lets go to the main func :)

Death Does Talk

Yeah m lost, in jungles of red and blue desires . . .

in particular trend lines of this existence, existence demands a lot from us my lovely Lux, we need to eat everyday and we need to excrete everyday, we need to wake up then sleep and we need to sleep to wake up, above all we need to inhale to exhale and exhale to inhale every instant, i am lost nowhere but in these tradeoffs between life n death. So i wanna talk to the latter.

A dialogue

Characters: A Human and a Girl

[Setting: A human is sitting in a cold dark cell, his head bend down looking into nothing, a girl in black approaches him.]

Human: [his head still bent] So you are here, finally.

Girl: You know me?

Human: No, I know of you, but i dont know you. [Looks in her eyes] Tell me, are you . . . .death?

Girl: I don't know, but what i know is that, for you and for now, its all over.

Human: [laughs] Yes all over.

Girl: Why do you laugh?

Human: Have you ever felt like a fool.

Girl: No, infact never.

Human: You are fooled today, it was all over a long time ago, you are just here for a formality.

Girl: You mean you were a living dead? a joke some of you always make? but i never laugh on jokes, i laugh only when i take people to their ultimate destination, and i laugh out aloud then.

Human: Then why talking, take me.

Girl: You are being taken, its just a little time i spend with people in middle of each journey.

Human: Will i get to see a very bright light.

Girl: No, no, most of you ask these foolish questions.

Human: Then where will i reach finally?

Girl: Even I don't know.

Human: Then who knows?

Girl: Somebody does.

Human: God?

Girl: No.

Human: Some supereme being? Ultimate reality?

Girl: [Frustrated] Not again.

Human: Then who sent you?

Girl: We are all here to do what we are here to do.

Human: Ok, can you just tell me, when will i know what i have to know and where will i reach finally.

Girl: [Smiles, Laughs, laughs out aloud].

[Blackout with echoing laughter of girl]