Face"booked"

[Coffee Shop. Roshan is sitting when Rakshanda enters the shop]

Rakshanda: Hi

Roshan: [texting on phone] Hey bro

Rakshanda: Bro?

Roshan: Oh sorry sis

Rakshanda: Sis?

Roshan: Oh gawd whats happening.  [speaks sweetly]  Hi Rakshanda, how are you? Please sit. Shall I order some coffee?

Rakshanda: Perhaps later  [sits]  wassup? How is life?

Roshan: M good, how u?

Rakshanda: M good too, how is work?

Roshan: I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. Ha ha ha … he he he [made-up laughter]

Rakshanda: Dude?

Roshan: He he he, ha ha ha, heh heh … he he … ha ..  he … [slowly stops laughing, can’t fake the laughter no more]

Rakshanda: What was that?

Roshan: It’s a facebook status I read just now

Rakshanda: Bed an all kinda sounds despo …

Roshan: Still a better story than twilight , he he he, ha ha ha .. he he, ha ha ….. he … ha… [slowly stops … again can’t keep up the fake laughter]

Rakshanda: Roshan?

Roshan: Well that was another FB status, twilight bashing an all , u see…

Rakshanda: No, I got that, but can you come back to real life please? Out of Facebook plz?

Roshan: I am a bitch and a bastard combined, if you have problems f off .. ha ha ha, hi hi hi , hu hu hu

Rakshanda: That’s the limit [starts to get up]

Roshan: Arre no no no, that was just those Ecard posts that are shared on Facebook with a smiling face of a man, just saw that

Rakshanda: can you put away that phone, or shall I …

Roshan: [clicks a pic of her on phone and starts texting] … Instagrammed Rakshanda, at CCD Banjara hills, shared on FB, Twitter and 17 other social networks. [smiles]

Rakshanda: You won’t stop this would you?

[Roshan gets up]

Rakshanda: Where are you going now?

Roshan: I gotta go and pee, will you take my pic?

Rakshanda: [Angry] Inside the toilet? You peeing? You want me to click you while you pee?

Roshan: Oh no no, just me going towards the bathroom, I’ll upload that with my feeling emoticon “feeling the pressure”

Rakshanda: Oh My God, you need to see a Psychiatrist.

Roshan: [Suddenly sits down and starts checking the phone]

Rakshanda: What now?

Roshan: Psychiatrist …. Got it … Just joined 5 psychiatrist groups on FB and liked 7 pages … I have added you also to two public groups [smiles]

Rakshanda: I don’t even check Facebook

Roshan: No AifBee???? How are you living?

Rakshanda: Sane

Roshan: hah wow a good one, let me update this as my FB status.

“Question: No FB? How are you living? Answer: Sane    via @Rakshanda”

Rakshanda: Dude m done with you okie, let’s go our separate ways.

Roshan: You mean break-up?

Rakshanda: Yes

Roshan: Oh no no no, please don’t do that

Rakshanda: You and your social BS. I am fed up

Roshan: Please please don’t do that please …

Rakshanda: Give me one reason why I should not?

Roshan: Well …. for one I’ll have to change my relationship status on 13 social networks

Rakshanda: You …

Roshan: And then I have 2137 friends on FB and they are all gonna pull my leg. There will a Facebook Page “Roshan is now only on motion” in my name in no time.

Rakshanda: [drinks her anger from within] … I am leaving … [gets up and starts to walk away]

Roshan: [Starts typing on phone]

Rakshanda: [stops] You …. You are not even going to stop me

Roshan: I will I will, was just typing the new status tagging you that you are angry and I’ll be going after you … but the wifi here has stopped working so the status is not going through. As soon as this is posted I was gonna come and stop you. Believe me dear.

Rakshanda: [Gives up and walks away]

Roshan: Rakshanda, … raku, raku … wait baba … ho gaya … it’s posted, m coming …